Sunday, December 30, 2007

Ten Tips To Web 2.0 Your Office

Tip #1 - Disassemble the cubes

Sure, you don't need any privacy! Calling mom to check on when she's picking you up? You best head into the one conference room with walls and a door!

Tip #2 - Pillage the fallen for cheap furniture

I remember my first day at CKS in the mid-90s. They had 2 Aeron chairs for me at my desk area (it was very long with 2 work stations). I actually hate that chair - it was never comfortable to me and always made me feel like i was going to be thrown 40 feet in the air at any point. But it sure did say, "we know how to spend money!"

Tip #3 - Blacket the walls with whiteboards

Yea, nothing says Web 2.0 like whiteboards. When the press comes in, write up some code or some marketing lingo and draw some arrows. And put words like "acquisition" and so forth on the board. Then look at it in horror and erase it quickly. Would throw off those press types. If you do plan to use a whiteboard, USE AN ERASER. See Scoble sessions for why.

Tip #4 - Your company logo in the entryway

They are right - spend tons on the sign in the front - will make you appear 2 legit 2 quit. Though no name on the door can mean stealth startup and make employees feel more like a CIA agent. Add a secret number keypad for bonus points. Biometrics are so Web 1.0.

Tip #5 - Nerf balls

Let the boss win once in a while. Cuz when the funding is lower than expected, you know the person who dunked over the boss while everyone was watching is first to go.

Tip #6 - Project away

If you plan to use a projector - get one that can do more than 800x600 - that makes you look like a marketer. Anyone in the tech world should be using at least 1920x2500 on a projector!

Tip #7 - Circus Cookies & Diet Dr. Pepper

"Keep 'em eating sugar and they will work 20 hrs a day" said a CEO to me at a conference. Why not add on some B5 vitamins hourly?

Tip #8 - Miles of disorganized wires

The true Web 2.0 shop has 14.2 miles of wires. Yes, I have done the research.

Tip #9 - Turbo coffee machine with never ending bean supply

Jason Calacanis believes this is his tool to keep his Mahaloployees happy. I won't name the agency but one of the larger agencies in NYC has an actual coffee bar with barista inside the office for its employees. I'd prefer a lemonade bar.

Tip #10 - Lots of Headphones

I've been doing this for years. It's the best conversation deflector there is! Even if there's no sound, keep them on and the office gossip will stay away and so will your boss. If the boss breaks in, it is safe to worry that there's something bad coming. Just keep the sound on loud and they too will go away.

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